Tonight I tried to drive to class--as I was driving, musing over the way the weather seems to mirror my insides (a complete disaster), the rain became too much and I pulled off the freeway. I turned around, trudged up the stairs, and put on a comfy pair of sweats. I've been curled up on the couch with Bella and my blanket for two hours.
Kellen called me from class, informing me that Jason is hoping we are going to get back together. It's an ironic situation--Jason went apathetic toward our relationship and now he is doing all the things he should have done when we were together. He sent Bella a 'get well' card and bought me a house warming gift that he brought to class tonight. It breaks my heart. I have no palpable emotions left toward him and us. For me, once the door is closed--it usually stays shut.
Last night left me reeling, it's just the strangest timing.
I have a case of the ex's going on. Since everything happened with Jeff last night, 3 of my ex's have contacted me today. What is going on in the universe? Why are they all coming out of the woodwork?
What is the universe trying to say?
I'm a walking cliche (to a certain extent). My heart is banged up by the man who is no longer in the picture, and I have people seeking me out from the past.
I need to let it all go. When did I become hesitant to be on my own? Love...it really can rip you up.
Every man is afraid of something. That's how you know he's in love with you; when he's afraid of losing you.
Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past, and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions.
Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?
-- Leo Buscaglia
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
-- Anon
No comments:
Post a Comment