What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment.  And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new.  Right now.

When I get a little mental, someone should just escort me to the gym.

I went to spinning class this morning and ended up staying after to do some weights.  Mrs. A asked me this week why I love spinning so much and my answer was simple: I shut my mind off for one hour.

For one hour, I think about my breathing, my form, and pushing myself.  I appreciate the benefits of yoga, but there is something about fighting the resistance on the bike that is cathartic for me.  It's been a wonderful start to a beautiful Saturday in Arizona.  I love that I am still wearing shorts and a t-shirt out of the house at 8 am.

This week has gone by so smoothly, it's been a nice mental break to only be in charge of the junior classes. I had them create an ongoing Facebook news feed instead of doing the generic plot summary and the students were SO into it.  They were bantering about which status update should go first and who should end their relationship.  On Monday, they are going to be planning their Reality TV worthy confessional--they will be recording a dramatic monologue in groups of 3 about events in Act I and Act II of The Crucible.  I'm happy that some of my random ideas have come to fruition and worked out.  Teaching has become a passion for me and I hope that I can find somewhere to continue working after I graduate.

Mrs. A wanted to have a 'serious talk' about my future one of the mornings this week and I can't explain why I became so flustered.  She was reiterating that I should pursue teaching abroad for 2 reasons: I have no obligations here and I will make more money.   I'm not afraid to go alone or anything.  I've re-discovered my sense of independence and solitude (finally...) but it is bittersweet.  I don't really want to go on these adventures alone anymore, I want someone to share the experiences with.  The other alternative is to stay in Arizona and apply for the Teen Program Coordinator position at BGCS in May.  The only problem is that it's MAY and not MARCH, another 3 months of part time work when I have my Masters degree.   Not ideal, however when I was pushing Kayleigh on the swings yesterday, carrying around two little people on my legs, she was screaming "Bye whoever is pooping!" over and over and over again..giggling like no other.  The kids are so incredible and sweet.   I have a student who is more than angry at the universe for what has happened in his life, we had a good 'beginning' conversation on Friday, and I think I want to pull him aside and ask if he would want to volunteer at BGCS.  There is nothing more therapeutic than walking into the building after a long day and having a bunch of kids run up to you to give you a hug.  They're fantastic.  I know I have previously been complaining about my 7am-7pm schedule, but I go from one place I love to another place I love.  I think that's a blessing I briefly lost sight of.  Yesterday, the hospitality teacher was going to throw away all these awesome carved pumpkins and I asked if I could give them to the kids that didn't have a pumpkin this year and she was totally into it--another person's trash is somebody else's treasure :)

Last night was really interesting for a couple of reasons.  One, I confessed to Jamie that I secretly worry I'm going end up a cat lady.  Two, I received a text message "wish u were here to snuggle," from Eric.

Let's just say 'you've got to be kidding me' to both of them.

Jamie was hilarious and gave me hope, she said a cat lady at her work recently found love online and moved with all 3 of her cats to marry her man candy.  There is hope for the hopeless ;)  On the second, Eric's message went UNRETURNED.  Had I really slightly cared, I would have texted him back and said "isn't that the same message you sent to the other girls when WE were DATING?" Poor guy.  He keeps trying.  I honestly think in his mind we're going to get married someday.  Absolutely not.  He texted me a few times this week, that obviously went all unreturned.  He even had the audacity to ask if he could come to Scottsdale last night and stay at my place and then leave the next day.  It took everything not to say, "If you think you are ever going to have sex with me again, you're out of your mind. Done. Over. Never Again." Eric is...a learning lesson.  A brief history on the life and times of our 3 year relationship: tons of laughter, no fighting, and a case of cheating.  Eric always tells me he has changed and that our relationship was perfect (until he screwed it up..which he insists would NEVER happen again..right). He's very charming, handsome, and funny.  He is a venus fly trap.  I gave him a pseudo second chance after a fated meeting in London, two years ago.  We met outside Buckingham Palace and spent the entire day together.  Random and romantic.  After I got back from Spain, he came to visit the first weekend I was home and I briefly considered the possibility that we would work out.  Until the next weekend, (the weekend he was supposed to visit), photos of him and one of the girls he slept with when we were dating popped up on my newsfeed.  That was the end of Eric.  Beautiful promises that lack any meaning whatsoever.  With guys like Eric, you have to see behind the facade. I ended it by declaring, "Your word is your bond and your word means absolutely nothing." I'm sure you can find some sort of bitter, disheartened farewell to Eric in my blogs from September, 2009.  Fortunately, I have learned my lesson--that door is closed and locked.

Dead bolted.


The sad truth of it is, is that cliche text messages like that actually woo some women.  I'm sure Eric is 'that guy' for a lot of girls. I'm 24, I don't want to SNUGGLE with you.  It's black and white--we're so over we need a new word for over.  In the words of Just Friends, "Another bee in the hive." No thanks.  I'd rather be a cat lady.


Jamie and I decided I need to write a book about my dating blunders over the past couple of years.  Epic.  I regaled Kristin with the best of last night...we stayed up until  1 am laughing and cringing.  Men these days are out of their minds.  


In the words of Charlotte from Sex and the City, "I've been dating since I was fifteen! I'm exhausted! Where is he?" 

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.

I want all the answers.  I want to know what's going to happen in the next few months.


I always want to know what's going to happen--brace for impact.


I have four weeks left of my graduate program.  Four weeks.  FOUR WEEKS.

Free falling, having faith that I'll end up where I'm supposed to.

I wonder about fate and love.  I'm afraid for you to call. I wonder if I can believe in what you said, believe in us without feeling like an idiot.  Was it all just a dream? I rarely let myself think about what happened.  A mental block that makes kissing you in the rain seem like someone else's life.  Are you really going to come back to me?

 I wish I was indifferent, trusting in the universe.  Trusting in the random twists of fate.

This month put several things into perspective for me in general.  I'm healing from August 22nd.  I think I've made a lot of progress.  I swear, ever since I had that breakdown in the car--I've been so much lighter.  It's crazy--the physical manifestations of stress.  I used to be able to feel the stress reverberating around me, now I feel peaceful.  I know, as much as I love Jason, I could never marry him.  We talk on the phone all the time, but we're friends.  As hard as it is, as hard as it has been, our chapter is finished.

I'm watching The Notebook as I go to bed and I think it's just too girly and depressing.  Watching the ebb and flow of someone else's relationship is just too much.  You know, last week I felt like I would never be able to go on a date.  Tonight, I think I want to be open to whatever and whomever comes into my life.  Go with the flow.  Go with the flow.  Trust in the universe....trust in the universe? Trust in the universe.

I'm nervous.

“Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand – relax. If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.” ~Osho

“Why worry about things you can’t control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?” -Unknown

"Beware the barrenness of a busy life." -Socrates

"Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it." -Eckhart Tolle

"Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you." -John De Paola

That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time. To truly love something, you must first give it a chance to fail.

I don't want to ever become cynical toward love.  I want to believe in happily ever after, can'tlivewithoutyou love...I want to believe that I'm capable of having faith in someone. 

I love this quote by Rumi, "Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."  

I started putting up walls this past month, reinforcing my weaker parts. I caught myself and i'm stopping.  I need to just let it all go and let things be.  This is perhaps the most challenging thing for me--being a control freak in a time of seemingly endless transitions.  

Happily ever after.  Hm. 

Words of wisdom..

This morning, I caught myself saying, "If I didn't have to eat, I'd have so much more time." 


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It makes me laugh--what a ridiculous statement.  The sad part is, I'm serious.  I bought a big thing of soy protein and I'm going to try and substitute that for my "lunch" during the week.  Packing my lunch at the end of the day is the last thing I care to do when I come home.  I am finishing student teaching within the next month and I have yet to form a bond with any of the teachers.  Thus, eating in the teachers' lounge is unnecessary anyway.  I think I've become relatively antisocial as a result of my exhaustion.  I'm too tired to hold a surface conversation.  Actually, I'm too tired to hold a conversation period.  I used to consider myself an incredibly social person..I could walk into a room and talk to anyone.  Lately, I'm the wallflower (by choice).  I went to a friend's birthday dinner on Saturday, and I couldn't enter into the meaningless banter.  What's the point? Also, I really don't like talking about myself.  



I'm a little boring.  I'm a little tired.  I'm a little bit of a workaholic these days (not by choice).  


Kristin told me about this adorable, simple website that has the best advice: 

1. Assess just how busy you’re willing to be.

New research indicates that a key indicator of happiness is the distance between the hours you’d like to work and the hours you actually do. If you don’t want to work more than 40 hours per week because you have a hobby you’re passionate about, but you’re working over three hours more than that, you will inevitably feel dissatisfied.

In some cases, this may be beyond your control. If you just can’t afford your mortgage unless you push yourself, that’s one thing. But sometimes you do have a choice; you just think it’s too difficult to make it. Downsizing or moving into a new place may seem like an unnecessary hassle, but it’s worth the uncomfortable transition if it allows you to do with your time as you’d like.

2. Consider whether your schedule conflicts with your priorities.

When you have internal or external conflict, it’s difficult to maintain your center and sense of joy. If fitness is a priority but you’re working 60 hours a week, leaving you little time to exercise, you will feel conflicted. Even if you want to keep working hard, you’ll feel frustrated that you’re not meeting your own needs.

If you absolutely can’t scale back your work to allow for regular exercise, consider rearranging things to make exercise easier. Wake up 20 minutes earlier for a quick job; something is better than nothing. Or see if you can take a class during your lunch break. Happiness is honoring you needs—all or most of them.

3. Be sure your goals align with your values.

Most people would prefer not to overwhelm their lives with work, but oftentimes we push ourselves because we have our eye on the prize, so to speak. There’s nothing wrong with having a dream and working toward it; but if you’re going to sacrifice much of your now for later, be sure you’re really headed where you want to go.

Does the future you envision align with your values in life? If your family is one of your top priorities, but achieving your goal might compromise that, all your busy-ness might lead you somewhere that doesn’t truly make you happy.

4. Find joy in the way things are.

Oftentimes when we’re busy, we’re fixated on the way things can be, should be, or will be on the other side of overexertion. It’s all too easy to get caught up in a race toward some fantasy tomorrow that inevitably will fall short of your expectations. Someday dreams usually do because they’re more about avoiding the present than building the future.

Regardless of how things might be after your efforts pay off, life always takes place in the present. You never know what the future holds—whether or not you’ll still have good health or the people you love will still be around. The opportunity to enjoy those things is now. Find the time to appreciate and engage with them, even if only in small doses.

5. Make time for relationships.

Studies have shown that the quality of our relationships correlates directly with our overall sense of happiness. Sometimes while we’re working toward a larger life we forget to do the things that remind us we’re part of something larger than ourselves. We need meaningful contact with other people to feel fully alive. We need interaction, engagement, and the time to just be in the presence of other.

Make time for people, even if it’s just a quick meal. It’s worth sacrificing your working lunch to experience life outside your office.

6. Allow yourself completely disconnected time.

This can be difficult in the Internet age when work can seem like a 24-7 commitment. At least that’s my experience. I’ve checked my email at 11:00 PM, 5:00 AM and every time in between. I know that I won’t ever bookmark work between 9:00 and 5:00. But sometimes I need to shut off.

We all do. We all need complete breaks from work where we can be fully present in something else. Whether it’s an afternoon at the movies, a yoga class, or a complete day and night of relaxation, compartmentalizing life for a while can be rejuvenating.

7. Say no liberally.

A few different writers have tackled this subject in the past, including Sonya Derian in her postThe Halfhearted Yes: Why We Don’t Say No and How to Start and Karen Mead in her postCompassionate Boundaries: Saying No Without Guilt.

Saying no is hard when you want to please people. You might assume only spineless, needy people struggle with this, but the truth is we all do. None of us want to disappoint people, and on some level we all want approval.

Just like on airplane you need to put your own mask on before helping someone else, we need to take care of our needs before we can even begin to be valuable for other people. We need time to decompress, do what we love, and just plain call the shots, without reacting to other people’s needs.

8. Prioritize rest.

In a perfect world, we’d all sleep eight hours a night. We’re best equipped to handle life’s challenges when we’re not fatigued. But sometimes that’s not an option. When you are exhausted, take care of yourself using these tips to function better when you’re tired.

To the best of your ability, take time to nap, meditate, or practice deep breathing. A past yoga instructor once told me a certain pose was the equivalent of a good night’s sleep. I don’t know if I believe that entirely, but I do know certain yoga poses help me shut off my mind to fall asleep sooner at night.

9. Expel less mental energy.

This is a good practice in life in general—one I need to constantly work at—but it’s especially helpful when you’re busy. If your circumstances seem a little overwhelming, your inner state may start to parallel that. You may over-analyze, worry about every little decision, stress over whether you’re doing the right things.

Trust your gut. Learn and adjust as you go, but give yourself a break from the constant overanalyzing—whether the meeting went well enough, or your report was detailed enough, or if you sales calls are compelling enough. Don’t make yourself do the work twice—once in the doing and again in the rehashing.

10. Embrace the chaos.

Nobody forces us to live busy lives. We do it because we want to feel a sense of purpose, commitment, and accomplishment. You may have to maintain a full schedule out of obligation—kids to feed or loans to pay off—but there are a lot of things we could sacrifice if we truly wanted a simpler life.

If you’ve chosen to do various different things, engage with many people, and strive toward numerous goals, realize a lot will feel out of control at times. The more elements you introduce to your life, the more unpredictable the days will be. Sometimes the uncertainty is both the most exciting and terrifying part. Choose to focus on the former. Why fight the game you’ve chosen to play?

I almost forgot! Sunday morning I went to the gym for my morning spinning class..the instructor didn't show up and I ended up teaching completely RANDOMLY.  I didn't even have my music.  I taught the class using a guy's phone connected to pandora.com with a workout mix.  For the first time, in a while, I was proud of myself.  It was definitely a risk and very bold.  I could have crashed and burned..no plan, no music, no idea what I was doing.  I did it :) Everyone was really happy after the class and said it was better than most of the instructors...they all said I should bring my stuff for next week.  Anyway, it definitely renewed my excitement about spinning.  Motivation to eat healthy, get enough rest, and work out as often as possible.  I love the gym.  


Also, RIP Nutella.  I am BANNED. PROHIBITED. FORBIDDEN. from purchasing Nutella.  I just love it SOOO much.  I've replaced sex/love/relationships with nutella and it's just not acceptable.  Farewell nutella.

 

I can't get you out of the sunlight

I can't get you out of the rain

I can't get you back to that one time

'cause you and me are still recovering

So let's just try to cool it down

The fighting is feeling like flames 

And let's just try to slow it down

We crash when we race

Oh this is not the way that it should end

It's the way it should begin

It's the way it should begin, again

No - I never wanna fall apart

Never wanna break your heart

Never wanna let you break my own

Yes - I now we said a lot of things

That we probably didn't mean

But it's not too late to take them back

So before you say you gonna go

I should probably let you know

I never knew what I had

I never knew what I had

See, I look for you in the morning

It's that where my mind always goes

And I can't wait to get to the evening 'cause that's when I want you the most

THURSDAY!

Okay, I have crossed over to the dark side.

I've never considered myself a vengeful person per se, until around 2:00 pm today.  I was eagerly anticipating my honors sophomores Frankenstein debate, "Battle of the Brains" for the past 3 weeks.  We have dedicated one period per week since we started the novel.  The class was asked to debate whether or not they believed Victor Frankenstein's creation to be ethical or unethical.  And because I know, from life experience, that in order to successfully make your argument, you must understand both sides--they had to create a sound case for both as well.

Anyway, 6th hour went beautifully! I was so delighted at the level of their arguments, strategy, and wit that I went into 7th hour anticipating an even better debate.  As I listened to their vague statements, non-existent textual support, and lackluster plot knowledge...I eventually had to call the debate to a complete stop and tell them to meet with their groups, try it again--if they disappointed me a second time, I would cut them off and give them a zero.  Harsh. I know.  However, there was literally NO EXCUSE for this performance..they had everything right in front of them.

After class, Mrs. A suggested something I would never normally consider doing.  Why not reward 6th hour for their preparation and hard work by not giving them the final exam tomorrow.  I had previously attempted to make the final exam relatively straight forward and easy as a reward for their hard work..but as I watched them scramble to discuss the novel we've worked so hard on, my mind started flashing:

1. long essays
2. literary analysis
3. rip them apart
4. humble them

It's not laziness, it's arrogance.  Students these days are not used to being challenged or asked to think critically.  They are so smart, but so comfortable in their complacency.  I love these kids and I'm only asking them to perform.  To challenge themselves--to be scholars.  So I have crafted a series of short essay questions referencing what they have diligently been annotating for the past 5 weeks.  If they have really been doing their work and not BSing their way, they will be fine.  6th hour will be watching episodes from The Office and 7th hour will be writing essays from start to finish.  I both love and hate myself at the same time.  I've definitely crossed over to the dark side!


This week has flown by..I can't believe I am almost done with graduate school.  In January, I'm free.  I wonder what I am going to do...will I stay at BGCS and try and get the teen program position? Will I find a job at a newspaper? Will I be teaching? Traveling? I'm so excited to figure it out.

I can't wait for the weekend...I have to finish up my research analysis data and begin some of my formal reports..do some planning...and go to the gym...SLEEP. SLEEP. SLEEP.  E and K are both gone this weekend. Might be weird?

Anyway, this is something I wish I would've written myself..but it's always nice when you can find something that says how you feel better than you could say it:

"When I say you're amazing, I know the word is just a cover; a quick way for me to remember all the things that amaze me about you, a mask for the memories we share, a disguised version of our adventures together. And I really believe that you know, when I say I miss you, it's not just that. I miss you every moment, and I miss just what your name means to me. It means an alphabet of sounds and letters and words. But none of them really mean anything, because words are based on trust, they rely on how truly and deeply we feel. Remember, always, that they don't mean anything, they are letters and they are constructions, but we deconstruct them every day and we twist them; we manipulate them so that they say what we want them to. But no word, no shape, no photograph could ever twist so far that it could begin to explain even a little bit of how I feel."

Whatever is, is right.

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love." -Rumi

My world is being rebuilt.  I'm in the process of sifting through all my parts, putting myself back together.  I realize lately, that it's okay that I don't have it all figured out.  It's okay that I don't have all the answers.  It's okay to not be okay all the time.  This time to myself has been a blessing--I confronted myself, even the dark parts, and am in the process of sorting through things.  In the past few days I've really laughed.  It feels good to be silly again: I have a booming button collection and faux sushi making business.  I'm happy. 


Last night, Kristin and I went to yoga.  I managed to not think about anything for an hour.  I felt really peaceful..and not because of the yoga, but because I was doing something for myself. 


I have been contemplating my case of the exs...are they reappearing to show me that I have options? Are they reappearing to open up new beginnings? Are they a reflection of me? Matt called me out of the blue on Monday night.  He..hm...he was my first case of sparks.  It was my senior year of college--he asked me out on Valentine's Day.  He was an earth shattering kind of romance--electric energy that was palpable when we saw each other across a room. I laughed on the phone with him for half an hour, walking Bella, connecting with someone I hadn't spoken to in so long.  He told me he is planning on moving back to Arizona in a few months.  Incredibly random and out of the blue.


The thing that all these "exs" have in common is that although they make me laugh and are all charismatic people--I can't curl up with them in bed and overanalyze the universe or have an intellectual discussion about literature or teaching.  I have always wondered whether you can really have it all--physical, emotional, intellectual.  Jason and I had an incredible emotional/intellectual connection...I still love talking to him because we do have a wonderful friendship.  A lifetime is a long time to settle.  Yes our life would be light hearted and fun--but I wouldn't have that soulful connection, where with a single look all the unsaid words are understood.  I want that (and amazing sex). 


Also, my friend introduced me to a guy on Saturday night when we were out--he later asked her if he could get my number and after mulling it over and avoiding it for a couple of days, I admitted that I wasn't really looking to date anyone.  Somewhere, Kenny is claiming hell has frozen over. 


I'm not emotionally available or really interested in going on a date.  I'm just enjoying being on my own. For the first time in my life, I'm willing to see where it goes and hope for the best.  I get why Jeff did what he did and either way it was for the best.  In spite of missing him and hoping we'll get a chance at this-- I've let him go--that means accepting that he may or may not come back to my life.  Either way, whatever is, is right.  I don't need Jeff--I will be okay without him, but I don't want to be without him.  Normally I would loathe being vulnerable or being that honest, but I can't help that I love him and what we have together is, some sort of wonderful. Regardless of what happens, this helped me realize I wasn't confident in myself or who I am.  I had taken a month long hiatus from myself...not taking care of the things that needed to be fixed.  I feel like I can just be again.  Finally. Trust in the universe.  




"When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless." -Pema Chodron


"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." -Buddha


"Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it." -Unknown


"True happiness means forging a strong spirit that is undefeated, no matter how trying our circumstances." -Daisaku Ikeda

I'm so happy!

 My best friend just got engaged!  It all started three years ago, when a group of girls went out to celebrate their friend's entrance into adulthood--her 21st birthday.  Eyes locked across the room, and with a single look both their lives changed forever.  He was in town for the weekend--a fated meeting at just the right and wrong time.  He lived in Virginia, she was finishing school.  Somehow, their love overcame the distance--each passing day turning into a step toward their future.  They've been through everything and nothing; patiently creating their life together.  It's a beautiful life.  I love them both and couldn't be happier. Fairy tales really do happen.

I had a nightmare last night that I was murdered. After I was buried, I was still "alive" (not buried alive..but just back around again) and I was trying to keep the intruders out of my "house", going around making sure all the doors were locked.  They kept chasing me and trying to get in.  I hate that I have dreams like that.

I've been avoiding finding out what happened with the court case..

Anyway, today I found him.  I saw his mug shots--he was wearing the dirty white polo from that night.  He looks like a "normal" guy. He's 34. Born in May.  He's going to be incarcerated until December and then he is going to have 3 years probation.  I'm torn between crying...and getting up and leaving.

Lock it up.  Close the lid. Seal it shut.  It. never. happened.

Don't be Friday already!

This is the first time in MONTHS, perhaps EVER, that I do not want it to be Friday.  Friday means that Fall Break is officially over.  Friday means that I must return to the clutches of Starbucks and get to work.  Smited.

Tomorrow I am taking the teens to MacDonald's Ranch to peruse the pumpkin patch, hay maze, and petting zoo.  Although it is the last day of Fall break, I think it will be delightful.. and a festive way to ease into the upcoming holiday season.

I joined LA Fitness tonight..and basically only because it was on my to-do list and it made me feel good to check it off.  I signed up, drove home, took Bella out, drove back and did my first weight training work out in over a week.  This gym is much more of a "scene" than Gold's was..but in a different way.  The new gym is filled with UA and ASU t-shirts, a much younger crowd.  I already made my first "gym friend," an 8th grade social studies teacher who played baseball at UA.

Does anyone else find it awkward to hold a conversation when you are dripping sweat? The whole thing is bizarre and it always has been, "hello, nice to meet you, you're meeting me at my most disgusting."

Joining a new gym is like moving to a new city for me.  I wandered around, attempting to find all my 'stuff.'  I wish I could flash forward to when it felt like my own stomping grounds.

This month is definitely one of transitions..

Feliz Miercoles!

To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury; and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable; and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart; to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasion, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious grow up through the common. This is to be my symphony.

E's Bday, Photo Attempt Take 5

Today was a great day.  I'm too tired to write about it, but overall I had a blast with the kids at the zoo (even though it was ridiculously hot) and I got to play on a walkie talkie all day under the alias "mama goose."  I don't know why it is still entertaining to cross wires...we were requesting Red Ant assistance from the zoo management, lovingly named "tanto." 

I just finished uploading some of my pictures from my camera--I am embarrassed to say that they date back to July 4th.  Yikes. Most of them are from this past weekend and the awkward photo shoots of the day.  Anyway, here are a few of my favorites for various, mostly awkward, reasons. 

In my Grandma's Apple Orchard...

Armstrong Woods

Armstrong Woods

Not now Chief, I'm in the clam.

We had no reason to bring walkie talkies on the field trip..but they were a delightful edition :)

My to-do list:
1. Join LA Fitness finally...even though runs have been amazing.
2. Picture wall project for above my bed
3. Camelback mountain with Desi
4. Spinning class
5. Cooking a delectable meal on Saturday night
6. More sleep :)
7. Much needed night out of shenanigans on Friday