A beautiful song by "A Fine Frenzy"

He and I had something beautiful

But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last

I loved him so but I let him go

'Cause I knew he'd never love me back

Such pain as this

Shouldn't have to be experienced

I'm still reeling from the loss,

Still a little bit delirious

Near to you, I am healing

But it's taking so long

'Cause though he's gone

And you are wonderful

It's hard to move on

Yet, I'm better near to you.

You and I have something different

And I'm enjoying it cautiously

I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard

To get back to who I used to be

He's disappearing 

Fading suddelly

I'm so close to being yours

Won't you stay with me

Please

Near to you, I am healing

But it's taking so long

'Cause though he's gone

And you are wonderful

It's hard to move on

Yet, I'm better near to you.

I only know that I am 

Better where you are

I only know that I am

Better where you are

I only know that I belong

Where you are

Near to you, I am healing

But it's taking so long

Though he's gone

And you are wonderful

It's hard to move on

Near to you, I am healing

But it's taking so long

'Cause though he's gone

And you are wonderful

It's hard to move on

Yet, I'm better near to you.

Yet, I'm better near to you.

I broke up with J.  It happened so fast; the word tumbled out of my mouth.  I was rain soaked, tired, and desperate to be clean.  I remembered sitting at my computer a couple of weeks ago, listening to the sound of the rain hit the window.  I remember wanting to be clean.  I ripped off the band-aid, but I forgot to prepare myself with the "1...2...3" 

I wasn't prepared for the dam of emotions it released--the regret, the guilt, the good times.  In the end, you always think of the beginning.   

After I drove away from the rain-soaked parking lot, I came home and curled up on my floor.  In the beginning, I thought you could be the one for me--I had to start letting that go weeks ago.  Our life together has been both beautiful and tragic.  You were my first 'real' relationship, the first romance that had a fighting chance.  Something happened, something came between us that made us strangers.  An ocean of words unsaid and passionate moments swept away.  My love for you isn't gone--but my belief that we could survive the wreckage is.  It's the oddest thing to look into the eyes of someone you love..someone you were in love with...and feel that you don't know them anymore.   Two strangers, sitting in a dark car, sifting through the memories and feelings that once were, the love that still is.  I have to let you go.  I have to believe that I will be with someone is who madly in love with me, passionate about our life together, and who I make ridiculously happy.