“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book(Lady Chatterley, for instance), or you take a trip, or you talk with Richard, and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom(when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this(or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death."

“Even if all these needs are satisfied, we may still often, if not always, expect that a new discontent and restlessness will soon develop, unless the individual is doing what he is fitted for. A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet”


..........will this feeling pass?

Peace Core? Teach abroad in Chile? Stay? Go? Argh.

In the universe, there are things that are known, and things that are unknown, and in between, there are doors

It is not the going out of port, but the coming in, that determines the success of a voyage.


Nicky believes that God has a plan for all of us. Since I'm not really religious..I take her word for it. I'm just trying to get an idea of where I belong. It's occurring to me that maybe I don't belong here anymore. It makes me feel guilty to feel like I don't belong at "home" but it's been bubbling under the surface for awhile.

Remember way back when, when I was thinking of Peace Core? Well, we have come full circle back to it. Peace core is for 27 months. From application it takes about 9 months to get going.

I'm aware that I shouldn't make any big decisions right now while I'm transitioning--but why is it all my big ideas right now revolve around teaching/volunteering abroad?

Maybe I'll find a great school here and I'll be content--but tonight, my thoughts are somewhere else. Far away.