Rules of the Game

So from the moment you notice the opposite sex, an inherent rulebook is issued. An implied "Guide to Relationships."


I can think of a few,

1. Never let them know you like them unless you're SURE it's mutual.
2. Be noticed without appearing to try.
3. Physical contact is always a good hint.
4. Boys say I love you first.
5. Don't be easily available
6. Don't date a friends' ex
7. First Date is always awkward


Then there are the hard lessons you learn throughout adolescence: sometimes your crush likes your bestfriend, breaking up isn't always discussed.., sometimes they like you TOO much (i.e, clingy) and sometimes, in the worst case scenario--they don't even know who you are.

I'll be honest, majority of my college experience was spent in a long-term relationship, but I still had time to get my feet wet while looking for other fish in the sea. What I learned about dating is that it involves alot of games and more rules than we had when were throwing sand at eachother on the playground. I feel confident when I say that dating is rough.

So back to it, Girls spend alot of time conversing about what a singular action could mean. What does it mean if he hasn't called? What does it mean if he doesn't want to go on a date? And then this little book "He's just not that into you" came out and changed my existence as I knew it. Finally someone was admitting what I had thought all along..maybe he's just not that into you. And i'm learning more, as an avid listener and happy observer...that these days, a girl should focus on what a guy isn't saying.

Let me elaborate, one of my friends--let's call her S was friends with a guy and one weekend, tossing a little alcohol in the mix--they ended up sleeping together....and then again. Their mutual friends are curious about the situation, she's pretty go with the flow, and he's keeping his opinions underwraps. I think her situation is pretty common, and understandably awkward. We all joke with eachother about how nice it'd be if we could be psychic. I mean it isn't a big deal either way--whether it's a hook up or if he's interested...we're just dying to know. She was kind of balancing on the fence..trying to decide if he liked her as more or if he wasn't interested..What I told her was that I thought it was very interesting that he didn't say anything to his friends about being interested or any descriptives about his feelings towards her. She eventually just lost interest in the situation because she was getting so many mixed signals.

But here's a little theory i'm working on..the reason we're just dying to know and the reason we don't know is that--we've never been given a rulebook on superficial intimacy. Can you really be hooking up with a girl that you're also friends with without being interested? These are questions i'll probably never know..and maybe instead of searching for answers we should be looking for a better match.

It kills me, and i think it kills alot of girls. When it comes to the art of the hookup..is it ever anything more?