I'm in such a rut that I stayed in my pajamas all day long, more than 24 hours. Pathetic. Also, such a rut that I made a huge purchase at Victoria's Secret online store and I'm not even a little bit pleased or experiencing buyer's remorse. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, rut go away!
I realized today, laying in bed...in my pajamas...watching Friends re-runs...with the snoring dog...that I have nothing to look forward to lately. Things are so predictable...I'm bored? I'm so over myself.
The worst part of this rut is that it is really, really bad. I have no appetite, I can't sleep without Nyquil (tonight I have refrained...), I'm missing the zsa zsa zou, there's no hope of a promotion at my job, no way school will be finished until next December, I can't move out until I can work everyday...again, not until after December, I have no desire to do anything really. What's wrong with me? Complacency...apathy...go away. I also realized that I haven't even been listening to music lately. I'm always up to date on new bands, new playlists, etc...and I'm not even doing that. Like I said, I'm so over myself.
The only time I'm really happy is when I'm at work or at the gym. Isn't that the opposite of most people? I think it crushed my spirit a little when I see all the people around me moving up in the work place and I'm just stuck in neutral. I feel like life is in neutral...with no possible excitement or surprises in the foreseeable future.
I know that i'm the only person who can change things...so I guess that's just what I need to do. Oddly, I'm thinking about joining the rock climbing gym. Where that comes from, I have no idea..I just feel so blah about myself and everything else in general. Rut...go away!
Tomorrow I am vowing to go to Spinning...so i'll be waking up in 5 hours. Ew. And also, I'm seeing the Lovely Bones. Then...I work at 7:15 am on Monday. It'll be a really long day so I hope that I can get my sleep schedule back on track..sans nyquil.
No comments:
Post a Comment