It's been awhile.

I'm kind of at a loss of where to start. The one thing you can count on in life is that nothing stays the same. And things..definitely aren't the same.

Zeus passed away yesterday. I just couldn't get home fast enough. I believe that everything happens for a reason...but right now I'm just baffled by how crazy-complicated yesterday was. A domino effect of bad circumstances and luck. I've never lost a pet before..and it's an incomparable feeling of helplessness and sadness. I'm grateful that he wasn't in pain and that he had a wonderful life..he was a wonderful dog. That's all superficial words of comfort I tell myself--the truth is, some things are tragic and painful. Sometimes, I wish forever existed. Pets are family, their absence is felt in the most ineffable ways. Today was quiet around the house and he was really missed. An absence that doesn't seem real just yet. It's hard right now. I'm not as strong as my mom is about these things..I honestly wonder about life's hardships--does death, loss, ever get easier? I can't imagine that it really does. In fact, I hope i'm never accustomed to it.

The other news is that Kenny officially moved away to Australia. That's another thing, you never realize how important someone is in your life until they aren't there anymore. That's an adjustment too. It's hard to be away from the people care about--an unfair aspect of individual journeys.

I got accepted into the Master's program and my first day is August 24th. It hasn't really hit me that I'm starting this adventure, dedicating myself to teaching. It feels like i'm going about the movements without really processing my actions and the end result. I'm excited but absent--it's a complicated ambiguity. Transitioning without reflecting.

This is a really random entry--it's odd I have no desire to write. So much is going on in my head that it's easier to just check out today. I've allotted myself one check out day. I think it's a mixture of things--circumstances are sad, but life has not been sad. I think lately i've had this calm around me, no matter how stressful or chaotic things get, I still have an ability to keep my head above the water.

I just have to tell you that yesterday on our trip from LAX to Ontario airport to get on a flight, I met a soldier returning home for 15 days from Afghanistan. He had this somberness about him....someone you could sense had seen things..done things. It makes you think about selflessness. It also made me think about the words I couldn't express--a gratitude, respect.

There are these people among us, military, police officers, fire fighters--people who are willing to risk their lives to help someone else. I'm awed and humbled to even begin to comprehend the bravery and humility of their character. I've just met so many genuinely kind and giving people the past couple days in the oddest of circumstances--people really are incredible...and for that I'm thankful.