god damn people are funny.

I love funny people.  Love them.  Whoever created textsfromlastnight.com is my new bestfriend.  Here are a couple ones that made me smile..

"and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening"

"(330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down"

"(303): I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund."

"(617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.(508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me"

"i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes"

"White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy."

"(585): This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation."

"(405): I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome"

and this one just made me painfully happy..

"(404): "tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?"

"(508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?

(1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets."