1813-2009..haven't we made any progress?

Okay, I am copiously re-reading Pride & Prejudice--and I’m finding myself wrinkling my nose at Elizabeth, and I’m only 85 pages in. The book was published in 1813 and it discusses the same facets of love I’ve contemplated since I started dating.

Last night I watched Hitch--miscommunication, egos, and pride were to blame for the romantic downfall. Today, I gave into buying season two of Sex and the City, miscommunication, egos, pride and a little insecurity were the downfall of Carrie and Big.

So, in 2009, are we still asking the same questions without getting any applicable answers?

Throughout my three literary mediums, the main characters suffer from palpable heartache, usually because they themselves were too guarded, uncertain, and prideful.

The quick response would be that we need to be honest with eachother, lay it out on the line--but isn’t that one of the biggest turnoffs? A person, throwing themselves in front of us, declaring “You’re amazing, here I am to be walked all over.” Think about it, there is nothing more unappealing than a stage 5 clinger. I’ve received countless phonecalls addressing this very specific issue, “Why can’t guy A want me the way guy B does?”

But if guy A started acting clingy like guy B, would he be destined to be chucked out into the annoying pile? Or is guy A infallible because he’s “the” guy?

In a Midsummer night's dream, Lysander says to Hermia, "The course of true love never did run smooth"--comparing romance to a river current. Is it true then, that the our journey to love is just like a river? Full of bends and unexpected turns? Some think it's a trick of fate, that we must just go along for the ride..

I’ve spent many hours deciphering mixed messages with girlfriends, listening to them ask “So what do you think that means?” when wouldn’t it be nice if we could just call and say “Hey, what’s the deal?”--we spend so much time covering our tracks in verbiage, that the true intention, “I like you” gets lost in the coy games. Maybe we don’t even know our own true intentions, I look back on past dating experiences and I want to slap my forehead, you almost want to say “Sorry for acting like an asshole, I had no idea you liked me too.”

So, in 2009, I feel like we’re playing games with different rule books--is it possible to invite someone into our game, who will understand that behind the facade and masquerade..it’s all the same? And maybe, if we’re very lucky, our rule books will somehow, eventually, match?


p.s: the contemplation is coming from my inability to flush out the relationships in my book, I realized recently I know absolutely nothing. I'm no wiser at 22 than I was at 16.