A rebuttal.

When confronted with an opposing opinion-you have two choices. You can address their scathing comment, or let it roll off your back.

The worst kind of criticism is judgment from a total stranger. You wonder--who are you to judge me when you don’t even know me? It’s almost like they caught a picture of you when you were doing something out of character, and insist on that being you. The scale tilts both ways.

So I feel, on behalf of all those people who would rather avoid confrontation, avoid the whole ordeal of defending yourself, I will acknowledge the person who felt compelled to read my blog, without knowing me, and make the critical error of taking it personally.

I know when I decided to put my blog on facebook, it was a risk. I have debated whether or not to take it down--completely uncomfortable with judgmental strangers reading it. However, I remember that I put it up so my friends could stay in the loop...and relate to the universal roller coaster of emotions I go through, random experiences I have.

That’s the thing about life--feelings are temporal, some stay for a long time or others last for a just a minute. Have you ever gone somewhere and not enjoyed yourself? Have you ever met someone who rubbed you the wrong way? Have you ever ate something you didn’t like? It’s like broccoli--most kids hate it but find themselves eating it later on in life. We change, we fluctuate, we have different moods.

The problem with my blog, the thing I struggle with, is wanting to take something down after I’ve had a day to think about it. I write about being mad, being frustrated, being hurt, being broken up with--none of these are emotions/things that people like feeling. They aren’t emotions we are proud of. The reason I keep them up, post them for the world to see, is that they exist. We all go somewhere and feel out of place, we all make bad decisions, we all act hypocritically, we all say things we regret.

My blogs are written in the moment, how I feel at that exact hour and minute--no bullshit, no editing, just me and my immediate thoughts.

For example, If I wrote about my tribulations getting to Spain and my horrific nights stay in Atlanta NOW --I would write one in a humored state of mind, probably make a couple notes about how things will work out, even when we feel like we want to surrender to the world. If I wrote NOW about being nervous about moving to Spain, I would write about how after the initial shock of change--your life will find a new route, a new routine, you will find comfort in the past, and make peace with your present.

And in particular, the blog that motivated me to write this rebuttal-- to the person who felt so offended by what I wrote they had to compose a sniping comment. I am sorry I was not in an easygoing, energetic mood the night I went to the house party in Granada. It would have been alot better for me if I was, If I could have just felt at ease. If you knew me, really knew all about me--you might know that I was still trying to find my footing in Spain. Feeling like a fish out of water--because I’m not just like you. I was feeling intimidated by people who feel so at home in Spain. I began to wonder if Spain isn’t the place for me, because I’m not up to staying out til 8am. It’s not my ideal night out. But you know, next time I’ll go in knowing what to expect, to have a couple caffeine injections. I’m the girl who is happiest on a fixed schedule, the girl who leaves the bar usually around 1am because I love waking up and getting in a good work out the next day, I’m the girl who can be uncomfortable when I’m in a totally new place with nothing familiar. In your life, you will probably meet alot of people with different temperaments, different comfort levels, different moods on different days. You might want to work on the basic fundamental human emotion that maintains friendships, that allows people to really relate to one another--understanding.

Allison gave me the best advice our sophomore year of college. A little piece of paper that said “the four agreements”, number 1 on that list: Don’t take anything personally. It might mean something different to other people, but I’ve learned to apply it to those situations like where someone says something catty to you when they are having a bad day. It’s not YOU--it’s their circumstances at that moment. It’s forgiving the sales clerk who brushes you off and doesn’t go that extra mile to help you, because maybe their boyfriend just broke up with them. It’s letting it go when your parents yell for 15 minutes, telling you what you are doing wrong--because they were frustrated with something else.


So to all of the critics & voyeurs--I’m sorry I am not perfect, that my experiences are not perfect, that I don’t analyze every moment perfectly. I am human; somedays my perspective is clouded by stress, being sick, being overwhelmed, feeling out of place, lack of sleep, a flair for the dramatic. But I do my best to be honest, I don’t go through my life sugarcoating everything. Sometimes I’m in a shitty mood, sometimes I have a shitty day--but I accept that and move on. I hope that you are able to forgive people when they had a shitty day or said something that they didn’t mean. I hope your head isn’t ever on the chopping block for saying something out of frustration, or anger. You’ll run yourself into the ground if you expect yourself and others to be perfect all the time, giving perfect advice, doing a perfect job, getting perfect grades, and saying exactly what you mean.

We are not actors on stage, with lines and scripts, fairytale romances and the promise of happily ever after. No, we improvise, we say word vomit, we flop, and we go through life, always a little unsure of our own perfect endings.