"After all is said and done, more is said than done."

Relationships aren't wrapped up in a pretty bow--people aren't simple..surface,   so I don't know why we would think relationships can be so black & white, uncomplicated, simple. Think about it, the first tales of romance you hear probably revolve around "Romeo and Juliet" ( wrongful suicide..based on miscommunication) "The Little Mermaid" (false pretenses of identity) oh and now..I'm all about the against all odds romance of Edward Cullen and Bella from Twilight.  ( my favorite quote from the book.... )

"I’m here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn’t want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy."

I think that is what every girl wants to hear in their life..something epic..hm.

There is a story about the Greek Gods; they were bored so they invented human beings, but they were still bored so they invented love, then they weren't bored any longer. So they decided to try love for themselves. And finally, they invented laughter, so they could stand it

Throughout dating a lot of talk gets thrown around about mixed signals. Personally, relationships or another person's interest kind of hits me on the head out of nowhere--i'm always oblivious to when someone is interested. My plight in life is being awkward...but I like to think that to my soulmate it's just endearing and part of my strange charm. It's kind of like getting a present unexpectedly..you like me too? Either way, I think dating is a pseudo game of russian roulette. Not that we're trying to kill eachother..but it's like who is going to make the first move? And who is going to put themselves out there? No one wants to be rejected or think wrongly by misinterpreting 'signals'..so then you just have two people standing there staring at eachother..wondering what the hell the other person is thinking. I hate that. Is dating really as simple as "boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, boy and girl live happily ever after," because I haven't heard any fairytales that say "girl meets boy, girl falls for boy, boy and girl live happily ever after." Maybe i've got it all wrong anyhow.



So either way, of course I found this a great opportunity to give into my fascination with google. I googled mixed signals and stumbled upon this article from August 2006,

In a society where it is often difficult to speak from the heart and feel with the soul, do we spend too much time playing mind games, sending out signals and trying to read signals? And what if we get those signals wrong? Do we end up alone nursing a hurt ego – or even a broken heart?

New relationships can be exciting and full of flutterings. There is anticipation, hopefulness and fantasy. There are dreams of a future with only that new-found special person. But what happens when the hope and fantasy is dashed? What if you find someone and you get them all wrong? But what if that isn’t down to you? What if you have been lead down the garden path?

There are men in this world who categorise their women. These men drop their women into one of three boxes:

Firstly, the box that labels a woman as a definite possibility: this woman is everything he wants. She meets most, if not all, of his criteria. He finds her attractive, good conversation, and loves the thought of seeing her and spending that quality time. Most significantly, he would happily take the box home to meet his mother.

Secondly, the box of no return: A woman placed in this box is a definite no-no. She isn’t his type and there will never be any possibility of more. These women have the lid closed on them and have to await their true knight in shining armour to come and pull them out.

And then there is the third box – and this is where things become confusing, but only for her: She is the woman who is attractive and good company – but with whom he never wants a relationship. She is the woman he wants nothing more than casual sex with; a no-strings relationship that involves booty calls, phone or text sex, passionate kisses and hush-hush meetings – but no commitment or acknowledgement of existence. She is his ‘bit of stuff’ and will never be more.

So how does this Box Three relationship happen? Well, in the beginning, there is chemistry and laughter, sexual attraction and flirting. At this stage, she usually contemplates where this could lead while he already knows she belongs in the third box. But at what point does this become clear to her? Answer: quite often, when she has already started walking her way to the first box; quite often, when she is already past the point of no return.

It is a sad situation that new relationships seem to lack communication. We can feel immense attraction to another human being and talk of our pasts, our presents and our dreams for the future. We can kiss and make love, feel excitement and passion, but why can we not talk openly about what we feel, what we are to each other, and what we want to be? By the time this happens, we are usually already actively trusting and caring and this could spell disaster. Why do we not set the rules in the beginning? Why do we allow ourselves to fall into a trap? Why do we not care for our hearts with more dedication?

For the woman walking her way to the first box, it can be a difficult and painful moment when she realises the lid is closed. It involves rejection and humiliation, unanswered questions and self-doubt. Mr Man will walk away as his ‘bit of stuff’ became too complicated – wanted more – while Miss Third Box is left to wonder where she went wrong and how she ever got the wrong end of the stick when, really, she ‘played the game’ flawlessly.

And so I leave the question with you: as we grow and take shape, and decide to step into other peoples’ lives, shouldn’t we first take a moment to decide what we can offer and then share this thought? Because if we rely on signals and the correct interpretation of them, someone, somewhere along the line of three boxes, is going to get hurt – and all because, he spoke a language she was never taught.

I'm not sure I agree with her--I think things are more complicated. I would love to write an article about it..but mine would come up without any answers. I'm not familiar with text sex..but whatever floats your boat. I do like that she says, "he spoke a language she was never taught" which reinforces my theory about 'the casual hook up' and how we weren't given inherent rules about it. But I know plenty of guys who complain about girls leading them on, etc, etc. We're all screwed up. Like I said...people are rarely simple. I guess in the end it's understandable to fall back on the saying..what's meant to be will always find a way.