We like to think we're fearless, eager to explore unknown lands and soak up new experiences, but the fact is, we're always terrified. Maybe the terror is part of the attraction. Some people go to horror movies. We cut things open. Dive into dark water. And at the end of the day, isn't that what you'd rather to hear about? If you've got one drink and one friend and 45 minutes. Slow rides make for boring stories. A little calamity. Now that's worth talking about.
It's surreal--i feel like i'm living in a parallel universe. I'm finally here, and seeing these amazing sights--yet i feel like i'm trudging through mud. I'm nervous to get my blood work back on Friday--i don't want to be sick. i hope my sinus infection is just acting up or something. I feel half-human. The best part, as if i didn't feel unattractive already being sick and tired...I have a really sexy rash all over my legs, arms and torso.
I hate feeling like i have no idea what's going on around me. Nobody speaks english (which isn't a huge deal) but it makes buying a cell phone etc, really stressful. I want to get to my town asap so i can just rest and recooperate. I feel like i'm trying to keep up with everyone here and fight my body as best as i can, but i'm just deteriorating.
..it's just aggravating to have spent my entire last week in the doctors office to get pseudo clearance and then here I am in Spain, sicker than ever with no one to help me out. Showering exhausts me, eating is a huge effort and afterthought and i'm wishing i could temporarily rent a new body to get around.
I would love to go running through the parks across the street from the hotel, I even tried to make myself believe i'll be able to go tomorrow by recruiting a couple of the girls..but i think i know that if i'm this run down it won't happen. But anyways, i guess if all fails in my life i can always fall back on being a personal trainer..because all i want to do is go running right now :/
No comments:
Post a Comment