I know it'll be worth it when i'm in London going to the British Museum and seeing all the things i've been reading about. Today is the first day that i've been really excited about leaving. I just need to get away for awhile, find myself. It's funny that i think i'll find myself in an entirely new city..alone.
I think that people lose themselves in the mundane existence of the day to day. Particularly, when you are an over analyzer like me. I think I just need to put on the brakes for awhile. I want to be laid back and just let the waves wash over me. Going to London will enable me to just rely on myself for awhile and not get lost in the stresses of my life here. What is bothersome now is that Grandma will be being moved to the retirement home in Nevada when i'm in London. I just wish I was more powerful in the situation, capable of changing things and speaking my mind. Maybe that's part of growing up, learning to voice your thoughts and correct people when they are making selfish mistakes.
Yesterday Hilary and I sat on the floor of Barnes and Noble reading zodiac books, it's eerie how dead on they are. You may think this is funny, but I really believe in my horoscope and the information about my birth date. Believe it or not, it even said that taurus' are prone to throat problems..and hello i know i've had more doctor visits about my throat than I would like to remember. Plus they said that I have psychic abilities. I take pride in that :).
I did camelback mountain yesterday morning with Nick and it was fun, but it frustrates me how challenging it is sometimes. I expect it to be easy but everytime i'm at the halfway point it's a fight against mind over matter. I think it's something i'd like to do by myself opposed to with somebody else, I just need to sit and think. I really want to write an honest book, about my opinions through a character that's tangible to me instead of being so afraid to write something personal. Why should I hide my life--it's mine and it's me.
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