I'm so tired, but when i tried to lay down all i could think about was how the little grouch gremlin inside of me came out and now my tummy is all upset. I try and be optimistic, and majority of my day i'm in a great mood but there is that other 2% and if i stop and think too much about things i get sooooo frustrated. Everything is just like out of my hands right now and i'm such a control freak and i feel so lost and confused on a day to day basis. I scheduled an appointment for an interview on Monday, forgetting that the movers are coming with the furniture and that my mom will need my help--i'm just so over this move thing--it's so overwhelming all the little details. I have no right to complain b/c my mom is dealing with scheduling and everything. idk what's wrong with me. I dont want to be bratty and uncooperative, but i just miss my friends so much and i miss having MY THINGS. You know, when it comes down to the root of my frustration--it's because i'm angry. I'm angry that i left all my friends and am in a place where i dont know one street from the next. I just feel so lost. idk, i'm getting all teary eyed and that's the worst. i dont want to cry about it, it won't get me anywhere and then tomorrow my eyes will be puffy, not that anyone would know the difference.
And then now i'm upset b/c i have spin at 9am and i'm going to be exhausted and then i'll be irritable all day, i just can't catch up on sleep and i get so emotional when i'm tired..thus this frustration. I just want my life back, stat, pronto, tonight. i'm annoying myself right now, i really don't have any room to complain about my life but here I am at freaking 1am bemoaning moving to a new state--GET OVER IT. God, insert a really long sigh of desperation here. Sometimes you just want to stomp your feet and cry and then smile to yourself after b/c you know you just let it out. But instead, i'm holding it in, sucking it up, and giving myself a stomach ache and my boyfriend an earful..goodness.
No comments:
Post a Comment